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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003001">bittersweet on my tongue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beb/pseuds/Beb'>Beb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), M/M, Mention of Thor (Marvel), Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Loki (Marvel), Protective Tony Stark, Recovery, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:34:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beb/pseuds/Beb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony never had a clue what to call this.... weird relationship, whatever it was, he had with Loki. It kind of just... happened. They were enemies, next thing Tony knew, they took turn saving each other for no reason at all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>bittersweet on my tongue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This takes place after Endgame in which Tony lives, but he and Pepper aren't a thing because, well, this is a Frostiron fic. Oh and, Steve Rogers isn't an old man here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony had thought of it, once or twice. Okay, maybe he thought of it a lot; the afterlife. Things that happened after you died, which was more or less rational for someone whose only certainty in life was uncertainty - one day he was an asshole billionaire, living a normal purposeless life of a playboy, and the next he was out there risking his ass saving the world. Not to mention that time he was left stranded in the outer space with no sustenance or oxygen, literally. More than often - and Tony had lost count long ago - he had a brush with death.</p>
<p>Which explained why he was rather calm, unnervingly calm, looking down at the two feet of steel driving through one of his lungs, buried deep in his body, making breathing hurt like a bitch. But hey, this time it wasn't even his fault, nor was it because of his recklessness. How was he supposed to know there was a freaking bomb in a freaking abandoned building?! Really, it was supposed to be a quick in-and-out simply mission; the radar caught a power source here - the Tesseract, the one Thor's brother, that greasy God of Mischief managed to sneak away from the vault. Again. <br/>(Tony preferred to call him 'Thor's Brother' instead of his actual name, because just by thinking of his name pissed him off. Loki. How dared Loki throw him out of the window of his own tower. He was Tony fucking Stark. The disrespect)</p>
<p>Back to where he was (Tony reminded himself cursing Loki now wouldn't get him anywhere, at least right now, he had more important thing to worry about) he tried moving his arm only to hiss like a snake when the sharp pain shot its way through his spine. He couldn't feel his legs, and he figured that was a mercy considering the way his bone protruded out of the skin around his knee, exposing the white covered in the colour of blood, his other leg in no better condition with a heavy chunk of concrete crashing bones and muscles to pieces - the whole limb from knee down was invisible under that thing.</p>
<p>He could feel the tiny amount of oxygen running out. And his suit was utterly down, meaning he couldn't contact his Avenger friends or signal anyone of his location. Tony wondered if it'd be like sleeping; him slowly drifting off, but the only difference would be that this time, he'd never wake again. He had to admit he thought it would be more heroic, more dramatic - the way he'd go down. Maybe sacrificing himself to save the universe. He survived the Snap. He'd rather die then if he knew he had won and survived the battle against Thanos only to be brought down because of a bomb, which should've been dud, from World War II decided to randomly go off causing the whole underground HYDRA base to fall on him.</p>
<p>Then Tony heard... noises. Footsteps. He strained his ringing ears trying to make out the direction. It was hard considering the fact he wasn't really in the condition where everything in him was fully function, but he tried to concentrate, if it was a person or just his imagination (hallucination from all the blood loss)</p>
<p>It was a person.</p>
<p>"Here!" Tony shouted, or what was the closest to shouting he could manage, with his voice hoarse beyond limits and his mouth tasted of blood. "In here!" He tried again. Maybe Rogers managed to track down his location. Or Rhodey. Or Happy.</p>
<p>If Tony could, he would facepalm himself right then and there. It wasn't Rogers or Rhodey or Happy. And how stupid he must have been to not think of the possibility that whoever was here to search for him wasn't an ally. Idiot. He just gave his location away to Loki. When he was in no condition to defence himself.</p>
<p>Tony hissed because that was the most he could do as Loki stood tall over the bloody mess that was his body, looking down at him with a sinister smile.</p>
<p>And Tony wished he was dead.</p>
<p>Well, maybe God did answer his prayer, after all. Because the last thing Tony saw was Loki leaning down, and that was that. What happened next was blackness and nothing; his eyelids felt heavy, and he didn't fight it. When he closed his eyes, he thought he'd never open them again.</p>
<p>______________________________</p>
<p>He did open his eyes some time later. Maybe this was the afterlife. Maybe he died of wounds or maybe Loki put him out of his misery. Whatever the case was, it didn't really matter. Because he died, didn't he? He was finally able to rest.</p>
<p>"I thought you died,"</p>
<p>Tony froze when the voice broke the silence in the air, his every muscle tense up. He knew that voice.</p>
<p>"Took you long enough. I almost buried you for good," Loki said from somewhere not too far away.</p>
<p>Tony moved only his eyes until it landed on Loki who was casually flipping through magazine pages on the couch. "Good morning," Loki said as he lowered said magazine, "Although it's actually night. How was your sleep?" He gave Tony a smile. The most unnerving part about that was probably the fact the smile wasn't mischievous like it ought to be. It looked... sincere. A sincere smile coming from Loki who didn't seem to be eager to attack him. That bothered Tony a lot.</p>
<p>"What do you want?" Tony asked, eyes not leaving him. He tried to move. To get up. Apparently he lied flat on his back on some... something soft. A bedsheet? <em>A bed, really?</em> The room actually had two decent windows, a couch (where Loki sat) a bookshelf and a nightstand. And... seriously? Tony was thoroughly confused. He expected himself to be tied up to a chair in some cold, dark, windowless basement, not lying in bed in some nice room (not big, but nice and lovely) If Loki's intention was to mess with his head, he did it.</p>
<p>"For you to stop being stupid by deliberately trying to reopen your wounds. I didn't waste my time and energy using my seidr to save your life for nothing," Loki said, still casual, and then his voice was sharper, "Stop squirming," he ended that with a hiss.</p>
<p>And Tony did stop squirming only to realise a moment later that he had just obeyed Loki. And he wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands nicely around Loki's neck and squeeze, because how dared he. How dared Loki put him in this situation where disobeying meant harming himself.</p>
<p>"Why?" Asked Tony. If look could kill, Loki would've been dead.</p>
<p>"Why what?" Loki rose his eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Why are you helping me?"</p>
<p>Loki was silence for a while.</p>
<p>"What do you want from me?"</p>
<p>"I just told you,"</p>
<p>"No, what <em>do you want</em> from me," Tony made an attempt to get up, operative word being, 'attempt' because he only got so far before the pain, brought by the sudden movement of his body, stopped him dead in his tracks it almost made him double over.</p>
<p>"Really, Stark," Loki sighed and stood up. He walked over and Tony prepared for a knife through the heart, but Loki merely helped guide him back to bed. "I thought I was being clear when I said I wanted you to not deliberately try to reopen your wounds. And here I thought you were smart,"</p>
<p>Tony held very still. He felt pretty much like a paralysed mice about to be eaten by a python. Spooked was an understatement of how he looked right now.</p>
<p>"I expect a full recovery. Just don't do anything to strain yourself in the next couple weeks. Can you do that or is it too hard a task?" Loki looked at him through his eyelash. While Tony was having an extremely hard time processing the fact <em>the</em> Loki was tucking him in.</p>
<p>"Where am I?" Tony blurted out with a hint of panic in his voice in which he failed to hide, because it suddenly occurred to him that the matter was, in fact, very important. He wasn't in his compound, that much was obvious. He could be anywhere. It hadn't registered to him until now that he was kidnapped by this crazed self-proclaimed God. Whatever it was Loki was doing.</p>
<p>"Somewhere safe," Loki responded dismissively.</p>
<p>"Not good enough,"</p>
<p>"Is that so?" He rose his brows, looking at Tony in what almost looked like a defiant look. "What are you going to do about that?"</p>
<p>"Tell me where I am right now, or I'm leaving,"</p>
<p>"And how exactly are you going to do that, hmm?"</p>
<p>Tony opened his mouth, but what came out was silence. Damn him. Damn Loki. He wasn't going anywhere and both of them knew that -- not when he couldn't make it out of bed without falling face down, helpless like a fish out of water. Loki held the upper card in any way, shape or form and they both knew that, too.</p>
<p>Better to play safe. As much as Tony hated to admit, he was aware of the fact he was at Loki's mercy. Loki wasn't attacking now, which was a good thing. Better not give him a reason to. "What is your purpose of keeping me here?" <em>Wherever this godforsaken place is.</em></p>
<p>"My seidr may have healed most of your injuries, but your body still needs some time to properly bounce back to health. My purpose of keeping you here is nothing but that,"</p>
<p><em>Wrong,</em> screamed some part deep within Tony. Run. Run away now. Because Loki wouldn't just... save him. He was the Loki. He had to have something up his sleeve, some mischievous scheme. But run where? It wasn't like Tony could physically get two feet away from the bed.</p>
<p>It seemed Tony's only choice was to play along.</p>
<p>______________________________</p>
<p>"When will you let me go?" Tony blurted out after he finished his dinner.</p>
<p>(Much to his own surprise, Loki was actually a pretty decent host. He gave Tony space, he did not try to kill Tony -- as far as Tony was aware of -- and he brought food three times a day, in which Tony was positive Loki was going to poison him at first. It took Loki eating the food in front of him for Tony to lower his guard down enough to bring the first bite into his mouth. It wasn't poisoned. <em>What kind of fucking mind game is this?</em>)</p>
<p>"When you're healed," Loki spoke without giving the question too much thought, if not at all.</p>
<p>"It's been two days,"</p>
<p>"I did say a few weeks, did I not?"</p>
<p>"I can't stay here for weeks!" Tony's voice unintentionally rose. He stopped to take in a deep breath and, it was only for a mere second, but he thought he saw Loki flinch. When he got the tamper back under control, he tried again. This time more reason and less emotion. "My friends, they are looking for me. I bet you won't be happy when they break down your front door, swoop in and kick your ass,"</p>
<p>"We won't be found. I've made sure of that," in the blink of an eye, Loki's face was rid of all feelings, his voice flat it made Tony's skin crawl but Tony refused to let anything surface. Two could play that game, if Loki wanted to hide his emotions, Tony would, too.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Tony asked. <em>I've made sure of that,</em> Loki had said. <em>What have you done?</em> If he hurt them. If Loki hurt his friends.</p>
<p>"I did not hurt them," Loki spoke with a hint of ghostly smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, barely visible, it was gone as soon as it appeared. Maybe Loki could read his mind, which was... not creepy at all. It was getting harder for Tony to hold onto the poker face, although he had a feeling he must be looking like a spooked cat in a tiger's den right now. Loki being the tiger. "Although I've made sure the place's hidden well enough. No one will find us, Stark."</p>
<p><em>What is the point of kidnapping me?</em> Tony was tempted to scream in Loki's face. <em>To mess with my head? Because if so, then congratulations, it worked. You can let me go now.</em> Instead they both let the silence grow, looking at each other as though they were waiting for the other to strike first.</p>
<p>"A week," Tony eventually spoke.</p>
<p>"Two,"</p>
<p>"One week, Loki."</p>
<p>Loki cooked his head to the side. Tony didn't rise his voice this time, but his tone was final. And if Tony's heart was hammering frantically against his ribcage and his palms were getting sweaty from the nervousness and anxiety, he prayed Loki wouldn't notice or hear (Tony wasn't afraid of Loki, though he was aware of his own condition here where, if Loki were to attack, he wouldn't be able to defence himself)</p>
<p>"Fine," Loki gave in, eventually. And Tony almost couldn't stop himself in time from saying, 'what?' Because, honestly, that's it? Loki agreeing to something so easily without a fight, knowing he'd lost. It wasn't... wasn't the Loki Tony knew. No, Tony did not know Loki - though, from what he saw in New York, with Loki as the world's most threatening threat back then, he expected... Tony wouldn't know what he expected, but he sure thought it would be harder. To make a deal with the infamous Trickster.</p>
<p>"One week, if you're better, you can go home to your pathetic little friends and I'll be on my way, but if you're not..."</p>
<p>Tony narrowed his eyes at him. <em>Why?</em> He wanted so badly to ask. Nothing was making sense. Loki randomly nursing him back to health and demanding his safety. And Loki wouldn't even tell him why.</p>
<p>The <em>Why</em> was the priority. If Tony could just figure out why.</p>
<p>But the thing was he couldn't.</p>
<p>______________________________</p>
<p>"It's been a week," Tony blurted out after it's been exactly one week.</p>
<p>"So?" Loki sat the cup of tea down on the tabletop. He leaned back against the cushion of the couch he'd been lounging on for hours now. His posture relaxed and casual, and even though Tony had spent seven days with him, he knew better than to fully let his guard down. This was Loki. This was dangerous.</p>
<p>"You said a week," Tony tried keeping his voice steady. <em>Don't let him know you're... panicking?<em> Not panicking, but Tony definitely started feeling it boil somewhere in his stomach; the beginning of a panic attack, the fact that if Loki wanted to keep him here forever, he could. Because Tony still had no idea where he was, let alone how to get back to his life.</em></em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I did say a lot of things, Stark." Loki moved from sitting to lying on his back with his foot propped up on one of his knees and his hands underneath his head, eyes on the ceiling. And before Tony could shout a but, Loki beat him to it, "But I am a man of my word. I said one week then I'd let you go, if you were better," Loki was looking at him now. "Well, are you?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I don't know what game you're playing here, but I am -" Tony cut off, because the reality of it all was ridiculous. Loki expecting him to what, insist he was better like a child insisting its recovering from a flu to a parent in order to be allowed to go play outside? Tony wasn't a child and Loki -- whatever Loki was, he sure held no control of Tony. But oh well, if Tony wanted out. "I am better," he said with horrendous bitterness on his tongue. His pride screaming its protest at him. "Send me back now,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki rolled his eyes and sat back up, his hand folded together on his lap and he leaned forward a little, looking at Tony with the look that was unreadable. "I see," he said. "You can hardly wait to go back to your so-called Avenger friends, to my so-called brother. There you can continue living up that... nobility. Having people look up to you, worship the ground you walk on. Surrounded by your lovely little minions,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"What is your problem?" Tony could feel it; the temper rising up.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I don't have a problem, Stark." Loki raised his voice. He'd been so calm before, it looked like he suddenly couldn't control his emotions. "I don't have any problem at all that you want to leave. Why would I have any problem when everyone wanted to -" Loki stopped short. Sudden silence took over and, for a moment, he looked like he was the one panicking with his face gone pale and his eyes widened.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He hadn't meant to say that. Tony wasn't supposed to hear that. It was obvious it slipped.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>Everybody leaves.</em> What if the only reason Loki kidnapped him and had him here for a week was because Loki was... lonely?</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony opened his mouth to say something, that something never made it past his lips when the air around him <em>shifted,</em> folded. It all happened in an instance, leaving Tony little to no time to process.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He felt his entire body being sucked into something -- a portal -- by a strong, unknown force that he couldn't fight against.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Next thing he knew he landed on two feet on a steady ground. Tony stumbled and almost fell, but regained his balance in time. He looked around, confused and spooked. Loki was nowhere to be seen, though what Tony could see was a very confused Happy standing behind a kitchen island. Happy dropped his coffee cup on the floor, looking like he saw a ghost.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Well, couldn't really blame him when he just witnessed his friend, whom he spent a week searching for, magically fall down the magic portal, out of thin air and was now back in the compound.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony was back. Loki let him go.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>But why couldn't Tony stop repeating Loki's words in his head? <em>Everyone wants to leave me.</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>______________________________</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony never told anyone about his time with Loki. What he told his friends -- the Avengers -- was that he'd been kidnapped by some outlaw gang, but he took care of it now. He was fine. There was no need to fuss over, thank you very much. And they all believed him.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony couldn't tell why he kept it a secret. Maybe it wasn't a secret. He simply didn't think telling the whole truth would make anything different. They looked for him back then and they couldn't find him, meaning Loki wasn't lying when he said he'd made sure he'd -- they'd -- never be found. Tony telling them about Loki now wasn't going to help them track down Loki when Loki was this good at not being found when he wished not to be found.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Better to leave it at that. Forget it ever happened.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>The thing about forgetting was that you always ended up forgetting stuff you wanted to remember, and remembered stuff you wanted to forget.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>More than often Tony found his mind traveling back to his time with Loki; Loki helping him back to bed when he tried to stand too soon, Loki bringing him food, Loki making sure he was okay. <em>You want to leave. Everyone wanted to leave.</em> Tony shook his head to try to rid his head of Loki's voice, keyword being, 'try'</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>______________________________</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>A month passed by. Tony didn't expect to ever see Loki again. Though he still thought about the memories probably more often than he should. <em>Loki really kidnapped and nursed you because he was lonely?</em> No, no, that doesn't make any sense. <em>But what else would explain it, then? He didn't ask anything from you. He let you go after you're healed.</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Who even understands Loki," Tony spoke it aloud to himself, drinking alone at a bar in his fully-guarded house at midnight.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You can say that again," answered Loki's voice from the shadow, and Tony almost choked on his drink.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He jumped, in the process knocking over the glass. Loki was walking toward him with a smile that was anything but friendly. <em>How long has he been standing there and how - how did he get through security guards?</em> Tony was about to call for JARVIS when Loki spoke up in a voice that was almost gentle, "Relax, Stark. I'm not here to kidnap you for the second time or to cause any shenanigans."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He sat down on a stool, looking at Tony with a smile that wasn't ghostlike or sinister anymore. If anything it looked almost sweet. Innocent even.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>(Tony had to keep reminding himself this was Loki, this was someone who couldn't be trusted)</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"What do you want?" Tony asked, still standing there, keeping his distance. Though Tony wasn't as guarded anymore. Apparently, that happened when you spent a whole week locked in a house with someone and they never made an attempt to hurt you once, you could never be all tense and guarded 24/7</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Nothing. I happened to be in the neighbourhood. Thought I'd drop by and say hi. See how you're doing. Aren't you going to offer me a drink? You still owe me one, might I remind you." The smile never left Loki's face.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"If you expect some sort of a thank you for -" <em>for saving my life that time,</em> no, Tony didn't want to say that aloud even if that was what happened. Tony preferred to call it 'Loki kidnapped him' because somehow, it hurt his pride less. "If you expect me to do any dirty job for you as a way to repay what you did -"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki huffed a laugh, it cut Tony off. "You truly think so little of me, Stark." He said. "No, I don't want anything from you,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Then why are you here?" <em>Why me? Why can't you just leave me alone?</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I just told you why,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Yeah, happened to be in the neighbourhood. Though you'd drop by and say hi. And you expect me to believe that?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Believe whatever you want."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Damn. Loki was getting on his nerve. But slowly, slowly Tony re-approached the tool he sat on before Loki made a surprise visit and took a seat there, keeping distance still. "I take it you don't normally show up at one of your enemies' unannounced to get a drink,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki shrugged. "That depends,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"On what?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"If we're still enemies. Of course, we aren't friends, don't get it in your head,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>He's playing with your head,</em> warned a voice within Tony. <em>You have to remember Loki's known for being a manipulator.</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>But what if he's just lonely?</em> Argued another voice.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>Why don't you just ask him,</em> a new voice joined. Great. Go ahead and ask Loki if he was lonely. Worst cast scenario; Loki got offended and drove a dagger through his chest. Not bad at all.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony opened his mouth, anyway. He never got a word out when a noise occurred, a sound of footsteps approaching.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Both him and Loki quickly turned their heads to the direction. "Tony?" that was Steve's voice, Steve's shadow already coming to the view -- signalling his actual body would follow in less than three seconds.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Steve emerged from the door. "I heard noises," said the Captain. "Everything okay?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>For a moment Tony's face was the picture of a dear caught in headlights. What would his friend think of him now? Loki was an enemy and here Tony was seen having what seemed to be a casual chat at a bar with him. But when Tony's eyes darted back to the spot where Loki was, he only found emptiness.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Then his eyes shifted back to Steve who was looking at him with a hint of confusion on his face. Steve didn't see Loki. He was gone, disappeared, before he could be seen. And now Steve was silently shooting the question at Tony; <em>who were you talking to?</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I..." Tony trailed off. "I was just..." but shoot, his brain was blank and he couldn't think of an excuse, something that wasn't, <em>'oh, it was just Loki. Yes, that Loki who almost enslaved mankind. Not a big deal.'</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"It's okay," Steve seemed to see his friend's struggle. "I talk to myself when things are overwhelming, too." He had a faint smile on his face, and Tony couldn't quite mutter one in return.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You do?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Yeah, Sam mentioned something about it helping. More or less, I suppose. And I know things can be quite overwhelming. We had all been through a war, Tony."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Well, I guess," Tony shrugged, then, "Keep me company?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Sure," Steve smiled, then took a seat next to him. Tony pouring him a drink.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>______________________________</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony liked to think he was being paranoid. Nothing more. Just Loki getting under his skin, making him think he was being followed every now and then. Or, he thought he was being followed on most occasions. Something in the shadow creeping closer to his back, only for him to quickly spin around to nothingness.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You're a little jumpy lately," and again, Tony flinched at Natasha's unexpectedly presence. She smiled at him from the doorway, arms crossed over her chest, leaning her weight against the frame.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Can't blame me," Tony gave a wry laugh. The <em>'I'd been through a lot. I fought against Thanos'</em> excuse really served as a free pass for any strange behaviour Tony might have developed ever since Loki got into his head. No, he wasn't about to tell anyone about the God of Mischief. And it had nothing to do with trust. Tony trusted them, sure, they were his friends, but he wished to spare himself the trouble of going into details about what happened between him and Loki. (Nothing happened.) It all felt... surreal. Even Tony himself didn't really understand what was going on, so he didn't feel like talking about it.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I'm not blaming you," Nat's voice was kind and friendly, almost reassuring. Which was a bit... odd, coming from her. Shoot, she didn't show this side very often. And Tony suddenly suspected she came here, to talk to him, for a reason.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"PTSD is hard, Tony, but it's treatable," <em>Ah, there she goes.</em> "If you need someone to talk to, I can give you a list of recommendations,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Whoa whoa whoa," Tony cut her off. "I'm fine. Really. I'm fine,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>The look Nat gave him said, 'are you?' but Tony pretended he failed to notice it. "So it's been tough, sure, but I'm managing," Because the problem wasn't him having a PTSD from the battle against Thanos. That was a problem, too, it gave everyone scars, but it wasn't the main problem Tony was dealing with. Loki was the centre of it all, and what's the point of even seeing a shrink, if Tony couldn't tell them what the actual matter was.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Or you can just talk to me,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony gave her a smile. She meant well and he appreciated it, but really, Tony didn't think he could talk to anyone about... this. "You're a good friend, Nat."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"But..." The corner of Natasha's lips curved into a smirk as she continued the sentence for him.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"There's no but," Tony chuckled. "If I need any help, I know where to find you,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Whenever you're ready," she said with a smile, then she left where she came.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Finally. Thought we'd never get to be alone,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony jumped and spun around. Loki appeared out of thin air, flashing him a smile that, as surprising as it seemed, wasn't so frightening anymore (maybe Tony had gotten used to it. And if the thought of himself getting used to the presence of Loki didn't sit right with Tony, Tony tried not to dwell on it for too long)</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"So it's you," said Tony. "Of course, it's you all along. I knew I wasn't going crazy,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Define crazy," Loki walked closer. Tony's old self would have taken a step backward, remaining the distance between them. Tony stood his ground, looking Loki in the eye almost challengingly. (It might be stupid -- it was stupid to think such a thing, but Tony believed Loki wasn't going to hurt him, considering the fact Loki had been following him around so often, if he wanted to do anything, Tony would have been dead long ago. And the thought of Loki being lonely hadn't quite left his head, either)</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"What are you doing here? Or, should I ask, why are you following me?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You are a fascinating creature, indeed, Stark." Loki smirked. Now he was so close to Tony that Tony had to tilt his head backward a little in order to meet Loki's eyes. Loki's shadow landed on him, though, for some unknown reason, Tony didn't think Loki's intention was to intimidate him. Tony wasn't intimidated nor was he alert for a sudden attack from Loki -- he should probably be. He just... wasn't.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"So you're following me around because I'm fascinating? Should I be flattered or?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Consider yourself honoured. I don't normally give out compliments to anyone, especially to a mortal."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony smiled. He wasn't aware of himself smiling until he was smiling. "Look, you can't just randomly drop by - "</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Because I'm a war criminal," Loki cut Tony off, "On the run. People are hunting me down, your people," something in Loki's eyes twisted and, with no warning, his eyes were darker. "I should be locked up, rotten behind bars for the crime I committed, the lives I took, is that correct? Yet you never rat on me. Why?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>Why.</em> Exactly. It wasn't like it never occurred to Tony before; the responsibility. It was his responsibility to report it to the authorities, but Tony didn't do that. Why, Tony himself didn't even know.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I'm not fond of comparing myself to a mortal, Stark, but you and I are much more alike than you think," Loki said.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Is that so?" Tony rose his brows. Shoot, he had no idea the hell Loki was talking about, but he knew better than to take the Trickster's every word as truth. <em>This is just Loki trying to mess with your head. So you doubt yourself. Don't give him what he wants.</em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Perhaps you don't see it now. But you will. One day,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Yeah, we'll see about that,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki chuckled. He made a move to walk to the bar only for his motion to be stopped short when he hissed, hand suddenly went for his torso and his body curled in on himself.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>It was out of pure instinct; before Tony knew what he was doing, his arm already reached out to steady Loki, to prevent him from doubling over.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki's action, too, was out of pure instinct; the second Tony touched him he flinched away as though he expected Tony to drive a knife through his heart.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Then they both froze. What happened was clearly not planned, Loki hadn't meant for Tony to see... that. But now that it happened, Tony's eyes cast down to where Loki was holding himself, guarded, then his eyes widened when he saw crimson liquid seeping through Loki's clothing and through his fingers. "You're bleeding," Tony spoke, and didn't know why he was suddenly worried.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Kind of you to notice," Loki said with a smile, though Tony thought he could see beyond that; something Loki was trying to hide, but he wasn't so good at it anymore after he slipped and let the hurt surface, vulnerability and pain.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Someone did this to you?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"The correct question would be, <em>'is there someone who wouldn't want to do this to me'</em> come on, Stark, I'm a wanted man. I make enemies wherever I go, it's no surprising," the way Loki said it was so casual, like it was nothing, like he wanted to convince himself that. And maybe it was true; Tony shouldn't even be surprised that there were a lot of people out there who wanted Loki dead, considering Loki was... Loki.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Perhaps you might want to get that checked, make sure it won't get infected,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki laughed, though it felt forced. "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head. I'll be fine. I've survived worse."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"It looks nasty," and there was something about all of this that sent shivers down Tony's spine; Loki was injured, but he hid it so well that Tony would have failed to notice it at all, if not for that little slip earlier.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>(How many times had Loki done this? Keeping anything that might considered weakness a secret. Sure, Loki might prefer Tony not knowing about it because they weren't friends, were they? Though for some reason, Tony had a feeling Loki wouldn't want someone he considered an ally to see him weak, even Thor -- or, Thor might be the only thing closest to ally Loki had)</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"It is nothing. They tried to kill me, but obviously they failed. Now, I'm not here to discuss with you about my mistake,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I don't believe getting hurt from self-defending is a mistake," Tony pointed out.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I killed them," Loki said, his voice flat. "They tried to kill me, I killed them first. But as you can see, I did not come out of it unscarred. A true warrior would." There was something he left unsaid; <em>a true warrior like Thor would come out of it unscarred,</em> even if the words were caged behind Loki's teeth, Tony could almost hear bitterness in them, it was written on Loki's face.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"True warriors do have scars. Your brother has,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Something went across Loki's expression at the mention of his brother, a flicker, lasted less than a second and was too quick for Tony to pinpoint what it was. "I would rather... not talk about Thor right now,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I would rather you have your wound looked at,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki laughed again, though he stopped when, clearly, he hurt himself doing so. The hand, still on his torso, tightened a bit as though he was trying to soothe the pain (or to make the bleeding stop) "If this is a trap so you can capture me and turn me in, it is very clever, I'll admit. But I'm not that stupid,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"It is not a trap,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"A pleasure, then?" Loki tilted his head to the side. "You cannot tell me it doesn't bring you joy seeing someone like me all beaten and broken. Let me tell you what, I am not," Loki flashed Tony what looked like a snarl.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You are jumping to conclusions here, buddy. Not everyone's happy seeing someone in pain. At least not me. I'm not that kind of person,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Are you? Even if it's someone who hurt and tortured you?" Loki's eyes got shades darker. And suddenly the memories of himself being held captive and tortured by those scumbags flooded through Tony's head. There was a moment when he thought, <em>'did Loki know?'</em> but how could he know? No, Loki didn't know. It was just... something that was common enough.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You are not my torturer," Tony spoke carefully. "A pain in the ass, yes, but not someone I'd smile upon seeing them on their knees, ruined."</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki didn't have a comeback to that. <em>That's a first,</em> Tony thought. "If you don't want anyone examining the cut, I can do that for you. I mean I'm not a doctor, but I sure treated myself when shit happened, a lot of times. Far too often than I like, really." Part of Tony wanted to laugh, not at Loki being hurt but at himself for deliberately offering help to Loki. But it was only fair; Loki had saved Tony's life once, no matter if Tony liked it or not. This was the least Tony could do.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I don't want your help," Loki spat.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Is this about the pride thing? Because if it is, I promise you I've had it worse when you found me dying in that shithole,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I shouldn't have come here," Loki murmured without meeting Tony's gaze. Tony figured it was more to himself than to Tony. And he couldn't help but wonder, if Loki regretted saving him, too.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Listen -"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Before anything else was said, Loki cut him off, "I need to go -"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You're injur -" that, too, was cut off when, with no warning, Loki disappeared into thin air. "- ed." Tony sighed.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>______________________________</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony didn't know how, but Loki managed to crawl his way up to the centre of Tony's thoughts. He tried not to think about him, to keep his mind occupied with something else. Most of the time, his thoughts came back to Loki, which was... frustrating.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki had said, during their last encounter, that he and him were alike, and Tony had been trying to figure out its meaning ever since.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki was a lone wolf, that was obvious. He was... lonely? Staying wide awake on his bed at night, Tony's eyes glued to the ceiling as he tried to think. Loki was lonely, but was Tony, too, lonely? Tony had friends, yes, that was what made him and Loki different, but having a lot of friends and being sociable didn't always mean not being lonely. Because as much as Tony hated to admit, he had spent too many sleepless nights feeling... excluded. Empty. The feeling you'd get when you felt like you weren't belong to anyone.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Was that what Loki was trying to say?</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>His thoughts was rudely interrupted by a loud bang coming from outside. The noise too loud to be considered nothing. Tony bolted up into sitting, something felt... wrong.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Jarvis?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Silence. Jarvis had never ignored his call, would never ignore his call unless... unless -</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony carefully swung his legs out of bed, standing on his feet in his pyjamas he had a sudden urge to summon the Iron suit. For some reason, he did not.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He only grabbed a baseball bat, that'd been collecting dust next to his bed, gripping it tightly he made for the door.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>The noise came from the bar. Tony tightened his hold on the weapon as he approached the place. He didn't know what he expected to find, but he knew Loki was one of the possibilities.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>What Tony didn't expect was Loki looking like he was on the verge of dying, barely able to hold himself upright with his shaking hands gripping tight on the counter. His entire body trembling, bleeding and covered in cuts and wounds it was obvious someone had done a number on him.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>The bang Tony heard was Loki knocking down whatever liquor bottles in his wake; Tony could figure the self-proclaimed god staggering in here and unintentionally knocking them down in the process of trying not to fall, to grab onto something -- anything -- for support.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony couldn't care less about the mess right now when Loki was dying. He dropped the bat, eyes gone wide, and before he could rush over, before he could do anything, Loki beat him to it with a hollow laugh that made Tony's skin crawl -- the laugh sounded more like a coughing filled with blood than anything else, though.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Don't make a big deal out of this, Stark." Loki said, his voice hoarse and he, eventually, spat a handful of blood out his mouth, looking momentarily like he was going to choke on it.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"The hell happened to you?" Tony shot the question. Then he thought better of it; the How or What wouldn't matter much because it happened, it was done. Now Loki was here, and even if Loki hadn't voiced it, Tony could guess he was here to ask for help because there was no one else for him to turn to. It didn't matter who did this because Loki had mentioned once; he made enemies wherever he went.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>(And it wasn't like the last time they met that it took Loki showing his pain for Tony to notice he was unwell. This time, oh, this time it was quite hard not to notice the injuries when Loki was pretty much bleeding out on Tony's floor.)</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"An unfortunate event," Loki said, or tried to. Another wave of pain hit, it seemed, because he gritted his teeth, body tense up and it looked like he was going to drop on his knees.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You need a doctor. I'm getting a doctor -"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"No!" Loki shouted, cutting Tony off (it was surprising how Loki could still be so loud when he looked like he could lose consciousness at any second) "No, no doctor -"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"What do you mean? This is absurd. You came to me for help and that is what you're getting!" Tony's voice rose. He would have gone ahead and gotten that doctor if not for the 'please' coming from Loki, stopping Tony in his tracks.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki had never begged. He was begging now.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Please," one of his hand went around his own stomach, as though he was trying to hold his innards inside, for they wouldn't start falling out of him, the other still gripping tight on the counter like his life depended on it. His voice full of desperation -- raw and in so much pain. "Please, I don't - I," Loki sobbed, whatever mask he put on earlier was gone, replaced by the vulnerability he wished he could hide. There was no pride. No dignity. "They'll take advantage of me. That's what they do. That's what <em>they all</em> do,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Loki," Tony's voice softened. "They won't. All right? I promise,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"No," Loki shook his head. "No, I can't have anyone see me weak,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>But you let me see you weak,</em> Tony almost said that aloud.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Please, Stark, I beg of you. I'll - I'll never ask anything of you again. All I need... is just one night's rest. That's all. I'll - I'll heal, but no doctors. I just - I just need to rest,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>And that, Tony didn't have it in his heart to turn Loki down. He was feeling bad for him, he truly was. "All right," Tony said without knowing he'd said that aloud. "All right, follow me," but it didn't look like Loki was in the condition where he could walk on his own anymore. Tony realised that so he cautiously approached him, and stopped when Loki reflectively flinched.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Is it okay, if I touch you?" Tony asked.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>There was silence from Loki's side for a short moment before he gave a wordless nod.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>At that, Tony crossed the rest of the space between them and guided Loki's arm, the one that was holding onto the counter, around his shoulders. Tony's arm went around Loki's waist before he started half-carrying, half-dragging Loki to wherever God knew.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony led him to his room, to his bed. He gently eased him down on the mattress and Loki immediately curled his body into a surprisingly tiny ball, fast asleep like a child almost right then and there.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He shivered a little, before stopping when Tony pulled a blanket over until it reached his shoulders. Tony stood back and watched. Loki was apparently out cold, and he couldn't help but repeat the words Loki had said in his head; <em>I can't let anyone see me weak.</em> Loki let Tony see him weak, he came to Tony when he was at his lowest, broken and beaten. He saved Tony's life when Tony was dying and now it was Tony's turn to return the favour even if Tony hadn't the faintest idea what he was doing, what this was between him and Loki.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He could call in the authority. The right thing to do would be to call the authority, have them capture Loki -- and Loki wouldn't be able to fight in this condition. But looking at Loki softly whimpering in his sleep, Tony never felt the urge to protect someone from all harm in the world so bad. He wondered if this was who Loki really was; a broken, misunderstood soul who had been hurt. He wondered how many times he had been hurt and didn't have anyone to turn to before he met Tony, how many times Loki had to sleep in the cold, scared they'd find him and kill him or worse.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>You and I are much more alike than you think,</em> Loki had said, and perhaps it wasn't just to mess with Tony's head, perhaps there was some truth in his words.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony sighed and took the couch. He stayed up all night making sure Loki didn't drop dead.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>______________________________</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki didn't open his eyes until noon of the next day. When he started blinking he looked disoriented during the first few seconds, like he didn't know where he was or what happened, but when it registered he tried pushing himself up only to hiss when the pain hit. He was healing himself, true, but with how severe the injuries was, it took time.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Relax," Tony's voice brought his gaze to the direction. Loki stayed utterly still, watching Tony like a cat staring at a tiger. This time, the table turned, and the Tiger being Tony. But, just like last time, the Tiger wasn't going to cause the other harm.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Here," Tony walked over from the couch to hand Loki a glass of water. With Loki having a difficult time sitting upright, Tony held out the glass for him to drink. And Loki was giving Tony that look as though Tony were growing a second head, but the glass stayed there, waiting, inviting, and it would be a lie, if Loki were to say he wasn't so damn thirsty.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Eventually, Loki lowered his gaze and drank from the glass still in Tony's hand, the cautious gulps that soon turned eager. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when the glass ran empty and Tony sat it on the nightstand.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Feeling better?" Asked Tony, his voice surprisingly soft.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki nodded. "I suppose this means I owe you,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"It means we're even," Tony said. "You don't owe me anything,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Still, I won't forget this," and there was something in Loki's voice; sincerity, gratefulness. Tony never thought he'd hear such things from Loki. "I know I said one night. I will be... taking my leave now," Loki wouldn't quite meet Tony's eyes, like he was... ashamed.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Not so fast, Reindeer Games." Tony didn't know what'd gotten into him, but on a whim, he almost reached out and ran a hand through Loki's hair. Just almost. "You're still hurt. I'd say, take all the time you need,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki was looking at him now. His confused expression suggested he didn't think he heard that right. Tony smiled. "Must be exhausting, right? To have to run all the time. You said so yourself you needed rest,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I don't... I don't understand,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"You don't have to stray, Loki." Tony's voice was kind. Loki didn't remember when the last time someone spoke so kindly to him was. "You don't have to run anymore," and under the kindness in Tony's voice, there was something more; desperation and the need for Loki to believe, to listen.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki didn't know what to make of that. He was used to people trying to take him down, ruin him into nothingness. But this, this kindness was... completely new to him.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"I will let you down," Loki said, because what else was he supposed to say? That was what he did; he let everyone down and in the end, they abandoned him. He was meant to be alone, running for his life, never finding peace -</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>All his venomous thoughts suddenly went away completely when Tony leaned in and brushed his lips against Loki's. It sure caught Loki off guard, but as surprising as it was to Loki himself, Loki did not pull away.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em><em>This is wrong,</em> screamed the rational voices in Tony's head. <em>This is so wrong. What are you doing?</em> But those voices died down in less than 3 seconds. Screw it. Tony wanted this. He had always wanted this and he could only deny it for so long.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki's eyes widened, stunned, before he eventually closed them and kissed back, despite everything in him shouting at him to push Tony away, he kissed back. The kiss was gentle and soft, daresay there was... love. Even if love was something Loki wasn't familiar with.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>He kissed Tony with equal enthusiasm and Tony cupped his cheek, when Tony's tongue slipped in, there was a second where things looked like they were heating up, burning with passion, but that lasted for only a mere second before Tony toned it down and kept it soft and gentle; Tony had to remind himself Loki, right now, was very vulnerable and he had to be careful with him. Like he were a glass and Tony was afraid he would break, should he were to be too harsh.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Eventually they both pulled away when they ran out of air. Loki's face flushed bright red and he looked like he were drunk. Tony's wasn't much different. They both looked each other in the eyes like they didn't believe that just happened.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"Will you still run away?" Tony asked after a moment, his voice somewhat breathless. Though there was... perhaps, fear in it. Like he was afraid of what Loki's answer would be, if Loki still wanted to run after all.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki was quiet for a while. He averted his eyes but when he looked back at Tony he asked, "Will you push me away?"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>"No," Tony said with so much certainty in his voice. "Never,"</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki looked down, but there was also something in his face after Tony said that; relief.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony's hand still cupped Loki's cheek before he moved it up to tuck a stray of hair behind his ear. "Stay?" said Tony, it was more of a pleading than a question or on order.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Loki didn't answer, but somehow, Tony knew his silence wasn't a no, and it was more than enough.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony smiled and kissed his forehead, pulling him close Loki reflectively nuzzled his face in the crook of Tony's neck. Suddenly he looked so small, so tiny and fragile in Tony's arms.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Tony kissed the top of his head, embracing him with tenderness and love.</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>And then, in the midst of the comforting silence, Loki said, "Always."</em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you folks want more of me, I am also available on <a href="http://bebx.tumblr.com/">Tumblr.</a> Come chat. The inbox is open there.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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